Well Jake, you’re right, you would definitely qualify for jerk status, but kudos to you for identifying the pattern as well as for your desire to break it. Maybe I can help. Having been a jerk-aholic for the majority of my life––the flip-side of your coin. If you want proof, just check Amazon and read about my new book, Wingless Butterfly: Confessions Of A Recovering Jerk-Magnet––and I’m pretty sure my book trailer would resonate. (If you’re not following what I’m talking about, read my last blog post.)
Before I proceed, a caveat to my women readers: Jake’s article is a glimpse into the male mind and is typical of the way some men think. This article should be a wake-up call, so be aware that sometimes romance can have an agenda. And to my men readers, there is a flip-side to that coin too, more than enough for a whole new blog. But today I’ll focus on Jake and my open letter to him.
The symptoms you have are classic patterns, so don’t feel like your affliction is rare. In fact chemistry addiction seems to thrive in epidemic proportions throughout the country and it infects females as well as males. We live in a ‘visual’ and ‘disposable’ society––one that advocates Read more “The Secret To Overcoming Chemistry Addiction”
I posted a rant yesterday about some questionable ‘expert’ relationship advice floating around the Internet and posed the question, “Is chemistry addictive.” My own opinion is an unequivocal “yes!” I can’t help but wonder what agenda the author I referred to in yesterday’s post had in mind as he penned his dating criteria, but it sparked my interest enough to do some research on my own. While there was certainly no lack of opinions, one in particular struck me. The author writes Glamour Magazine’s male dating column, Ask Jake and, though having read his last post I would probably not agree with his approach, he writes beautifully and I admire him for his candid honesty identifying his own toxic patterns––so much so that I’ve decided to take two days to not only share his post but also add my own two cents and hopefully yours as well.
This video discusses commitment-phobs, male and female, and some views about the issue. While it’s interesting, I have a unique spin on the topic. Today I’ll share Jake’s article and I’d love to hear your comments Read more “Proof: Chemistry Is Addictive!”
This may be a controversial blog, but I feel compelled to comment on it. I got an email a few days ago that described a teleseminar posted by a “relationship expert” and when I read the content I began to see why so many relationships fail. It’s hard to believe that there are “experts” out there that actually promote toxic information like
- You have to be very specific in identifying the physical attributes you want in a partner ie: age, height, weight, hair color, physical build, or any other important physical characteristics that are important to you. Chemistry is everything.
- Because men are so visual in nature, they should seek females who are 5-10 years younger than themselves. So that also means women should date men 5-10 years their senior, the exception being once a females reaches 70 years of age.
- The more you can pin down exactly what you’re looking for the more control you have over the design of your mate.
- We need to take better advantage of our circle of friends. We should share with our closest friends what we are looking for, and allow them to duplicate the search effort.
- In any social setting or event, we should have “wingman”, someone who can introduce us to prospects that we may be looking for, or an additional friend that can identify attendees that match the physical description we are looking for.
I almost gaged when I read that. I mean honestly, Read more “Is Chemistry An Addiction?”
You’d never dive into a shallow pool, right? No one would consciously do that, but people dive right into new relationships every day––without testing the waters first. It’s no wonder so many break their ‘buts’ (yes I meant to spell it that way) But he said . . . But she was . . . But we have . . . Moving too fast, is a sure way to add to your ‘but’ list and chalk up another failed relationship––so if you missed part one in this series, check it out before reading on, because today I’m adding to the top five reasons relationships fail with: The History of Failed Relationships, Part Deux.
How many times have we all heard the cliches, “men are all alike” or “Women! I’ll never understand them?” Maybe we do speak different languages, but honestly people, it’s our differences that keep things interesting.
Men (or women for that matter) aren’t all the same and if you have that attitude or experience, then it’s time you look at the common denominator––YOU!
If your relationships continually end the same way, Read more “The History Of Failed Relationships, Part Deux.”
You know how great it feels when you enter into a new relationship? It’s like you’re on a high––the world suddenly glows through rose-colored glasses and you feel an energy that’s exhilarating. When chemistry clicks, the tendrils of love lure you into a fantasy world and you think maybe––just maybe you’ve found your soul mate. So what happens down the road to mess things up? How could love so right turn out to be so wrong? Sound familiar?
Well, for those who’ve already read Wingless Butterfly, you know I’ve had a lot of experience with love gone wrong, but the good news is I’ve learned from my mistakes! Over the next few weeks, I’m going to fill you in on the top 5 reasons relationships fail. You Read more “Top 5 Reasons Relationships fail”
My publisher at Aberdeen Bay says the best things in life are worth waiting for. Some people don’t believe that, but I have to say I’ve found it to be true. I think everything happens for a reason but, for me, patience has never come easily. Ha, my mom used to tell me that patience was a virtue and she got pretty upset when I stomped off saying, “Then I guess I’m just not very virtuous.” I’ve been so excited for my book to actually be released, that it’s been difficult to sit back and wait for the step by step process to play out. Those of you who know me personally can testify that I’m pretty high energy, so instead of simply waiting anxiously, I decided to focus on something a lot more fun.
For the last 3 weeks I have been working on my book trailer with Acosta Production’s CEO, Jon Acosta and Downstairs Studio’s Owner and Chief Audio Engineer, Drew Gibadlo. These guys are creative geniuses and Read more “Wingless Butterfly—The Trailer”
I have had several requests to post my BlogTalkRadio interview on this site so, in case you missed the show, here it is. BTW, my book release is just around the corner and I will be taking pre-release orders through my Facebook page soon. If you’d like signed copies of Wingless Butterfly, pre-release, send me an email and watch for my Facebook announcement. Thanks to everyone for listening to the radio show and for supporting me.
I’ve gotten so may requests for this list recently, I decided to re-post it, so here it is—the top twenty signs of a player. Here are the red flags in black and white. You might find some things on this list amusing or amazing, but they are real and have happened to people who were supposedly in committed relationships. Enjoy—but beware. The next time your sweetie displays a blatant red flag, you just might want to think twice before you dismiss it.
Here are the top 20 signs your partner is cheating or be a player: Read more “Top 20 Signs You Are Dating a Player”
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAe38PQywuQ[/youtube]My Christmas message to all of my friends–– Never give up on love! There are many kinds of love; unconditional love of a child, unrelenting love for a parent, magical enchantment of new love, the constant love of real friends, and the most precious of all, fulfilled contentment of reciprocated love. Love alters Read more “Ask The Lonely”