Live your Dreams

Happy July 4th Everyone!

Happy 4th of July! It’s Independence Day—the perfect time to take a good look at your own independence. Especially when it comes to relationships. Have you ever thought you simply attracted insincere people? If so then it’s time to look in the mirror. The truth is, many of us unknowingly have destructive dating patterns that actually attract jerks. If you keep doing the same things and expect different results, then it’s your bad. There are all kinds of agendas lurking in cyberspace, and face it, if you want to catch a certain kind of fish, you need to use the right kind of bait. To avoid the sharks, look at your hook.  
It might me helpful to ask yourself some simple questions––and be honest.
What type of man or woman are you attracted to, and more importantly, why?
Do your relationships thrive, or are they a struggle?
Do you compromise your values out of desperation to hold on to someone?
Do you mold yourself into who you think he or she wants you to be?
Consider the answers to these questions. To find real happiness, you may need to make a few adjustments.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEfIQYG5F_c&feature=watch_response[/youtube[/youtube]
It amazes me that so many people struggle to hold on to someone who doesn’t even make them happy—I was the poster child for that scenario  for a long time! Trust me, it’s a huge mistake. Having a warm body in your life is never better than being single for a while. It’s not a death sentence to be alone––you may actually find you enjoy having your own space. Besides, when you waste time with Mr. or Ms. wrong, regardless of your reasoning, you could miss Mr/Ms Wonderful. Here’s the important message, Read more “Happy July 4th Everyone!”
Live your Dreams

The Secret To Overcoming Chemistry Addiction

Well Jake, you’re right, you would definitely qualify for jerk status, but kudos to you for identifying the pattern as well as for your desire to break it. Maybe I can help. Having been a jerk-aholic for the majority of my life––the flip-side of your coin. If you want proof, just check Amazon and read about my new book, Wingless Butterfly: Confessions Of A Recovering Jerk-Magnet––and I’m pretty sure my book trailer  would resonate. (If you’re not following what I’m talking about, read my last blog post.)

Before I proceed, a caveat to my women readers: Jake’s article is a glimpse into the male mind and is typical of the way some men think. This article should be a wake-up call, so be aware that sometimes romance can have an agenda. And to my men readers, there is a flip-side to that coin too, more than enough for a whole new blog. But today I’ll focus on Jake and my open letter to him.

 [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I38xQPMQmqo[/youtube]

Dear Jake,

The symptoms you have are classic patterns, so don’t feel like your affliction is rare. In fact chemistry addiction seems to thrive in epidemic proportions throughout the country and it infects females as well as males. We live in a ‘visual’ and ‘disposable’ society––one that advocates Read more “The Secret To Overcoming Chemistry Addiction”

Live your Dreams

Proof: Chemistry Is Addictive!

I posted a rant yesterday about some questionable ‘expert’ relationship advice floating around the Internet and posed the question, “Is chemistry addictive.” My own opinion is an unequivocal “yes!” I can’t help but wonder what agenda the author I referred to in yesterday’s post had in mind as he penned his dating criteria, but it sparked my interest enough to do some research on my own. While there was certainly no lack of opinions, one in particular struck me. The author writes Glamour Magazine’s male dating column, Ask Jake and, though having read his last post I would probably not agree with his approach, he writes beautifully and I admire him for his candid honesty identifying his own toxic patterns––so much so that I’ve decided to take two days to not only share his post but also add my own two cents and hopefully yours as well.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aMcOsIJKf4[/youtube]

This video discusses commitment-phobs, male and female, and some views about the issue. While it’s interesting, I have a unique spin on the topic. Today I’ll share Jake’s article and I’d love to hear your comments Read more “Proof: Chemistry Is Addictive!”

Live your Dreams

Is Chemistry An Addiction?

This may be a controversial blog, but I feel compelled to comment on it. I got an email a few days ago that described a teleseminar posted by a “relationship expert” and when I read the content I began to see why so many relationships fail. It’s hard to believe that there are “experts” out there that actually promote toxic information like
this:

  • You have to be very specific in identifying the physical attributes you want in a partner ie: age, height, weight, hair color, physical build, or any other important physical characteristics that are important to you. Chemistry is everything.
  • Because men are so visual in nature, they should seek females who are 5-10 years younger than themselves. So that also means women should date men 5-10 years their senior, the exception being once a females reaches 70 years of age.
  • The more you can pin down exactly what you’re looking for the more control you have over the design of your mate.
  • We need to take better advantage of our circle of friends. We should share with our closest friends what we are looking for, and allow them to duplicate the search effort.
  • In any social setting or event, we should have “wingman”, someone who can introduce us to prospects that we may be looking for, or an additional friend that can identify attendees that match the physical description we are looking for.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUOkBvxSoHw[/youtube]

I almost gaged when I read that. I mean honestly, Read more “Is Chemistry An Addiction?”

Live your Dreams

The History Of Failed Relationships, Part Deux.

You’d never dive into a shallow pool, right? No one would consciously do that, but people dive right into new relationships every day––without testing the waters first. It’s no wonder so many break their ‘buts’ (yes I meant to spell it that way) But he said . . . But she was . . . But we have . . . Moving too fast, is a sure way to add to your ‘but’ list and chalk up another failed relationship––so if you missed part one in this series, check it out before reading on, because today I’m adding to the top five reasons relationships fail with: The History of Failed Relationships, Part Deux.

How many times have we all heard the cliches, “men are all alike” or “Women! I’ll never understand them?” Maybe we do speak different languages, but honestly people, it’s our differences that keep things interesting.

 

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAyDmJvjxbg[/youtube]

 

Men (or women for that matter) aren’t all the same and if you have that attitude or experience, then it’s time you look at the common denominator––YOU!
If your relationships continually end the same way, Read more “The History Of Failed Relationships, Part Deux.”

Top 5 Reasons Relationships fail

You know how great it feels when you enter into a new relationship? It’s like you’re on a high––the world suddenly glows through rose-colored glasses and you feel an energy that’s exhilarating. When chemistry clicks, the tendrils of love lure you into a fantasy world and you think maybe––just maybe you’ve found your soul mate. So what happens down the road to mess things up? How could love so right turn out to be so wrong? Sound familiar?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG7TXASl3Lw[/youtube]

Well, for those who’ve already read Wingless Butterfly, you know I’ve had a lot of experience with love gone wrong, but the good news is I’ve learned from my mistakes! Over the next few weeks, I’m going to fill you in on the top 5 reasons relationships fail. You Read more “Top 5 Reasons Relationships fail”

Live your Dreams

Wingless Butterfly—The Trailer

My publisher at Aberdeen Bay says the best things in life are worth waiting for. Some people don’t believe that, but I have to say I’ve found it to be true. I think everything happens for a reason but, for me, patience has never come easily. Ha, my mom used to tell me that patience was a virtue and she got pretty upset when I stomped off saying, “Then I guess I’m just not very virtuous.” I’ve been so excited for my book to actually be released, that it’s been difficult to sit back and wait for the step by step process to play out. Those of you who know me personally can testify that I’m pretty high energy, so instead of simply waiting anxiously, I decided to focus on something a lot more fun.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiApc7HXQ-c[/youtube]

For the last 3 weeks I have been working on my book trailer with Acosta Production’s CEO, Jon Acosta and Downstairs Studio’s Owner and Chief Audio Engineer, Drew Gibadlo. These guys are creative geniuses and Read more “Wingless Butterfly—The Trailer”

Live your Dreams

Casi’s Radio Interview

Listen to internet radio with Black Belt Jim on Blog Talk Radio

I have had several requests to post my BlogTalkRadio interview on this site so, in case you missed the show, here it is. BTW, my book release is just around the corner and I will be taking pre-release orders through my Facebook page soon. If you’d like signed copies of Wingless Butterfly, pre-release, send me an email and watch for my Facebook announcement. Thanks to everyone for listening to the radio show and for supporting me.

Casi

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