What to say — OK. I don’t know who is behind the this recommendation (fess up, Dr. Phil), but I can’t tell you how many profiles I’ve read that begin with “My friends think I’m (fill-in-the-glowing-adjectives”). How do I say this delicately — No one cares what your friends think! They’re your friends! That’s why you pay them the big bucks. More to the point — if you put more weight on their evaluation of you than on your own, you might as well send out their pictures instead of yours. Better yet, if they’re the ones who recommended you “fib” about your age, don’t send their pictures either. Do, however, find other friends. Serenity is an inside job.
There’s a fine line difference between putting your best foot forward versus writing your own letter of recommendation, and no, I can’t pinpoint where one ends and one begins, but instead of broadcasting how sexy or intelligent you are (you know nothing good will come of that), tell us what you hold dear to you, what inspires you, what you aspire to. Provide us with some insights about you and allow us to draw our own impressions; then you can see how accurate we are. Like your cologne, one’s allure should be discovered, not announced.
About your past — Assuming these profiles are meant to attract someone, rather than to bash the opposite sex, you might want to tone down your comments about all the losers you’ve met and all the bad dates you’ve had. This may come as a shock, but we all have endured our share of head cases. Who knows? You might have been one of them. So be gracious. Take the high road. Accentuate the positive. If, instead, you harp on your continuous string of bad dates, it might make us wonder what, or who, the common thread is in all this!
Proofread — Personally, it makes me cringe when I see misspelled words or incorrect usage in a profile. If you don’t know the difference between plural and possessive — that’s dogs versus dog’s or your and you’re, lose and loose, were and we’re, where and wear … and by the way, to, too, and two all mean something different. If you can’t spell “maintenance” or “definitely,” take a remedial English course, or at least use spell check. I can’t speak for anyone else, but, for me, it’s a huge turnoff. Profiles provide many insights — often more than the author intends.
By the way, the same thing goes for your initial emails! Thanks Richard! Watch for more tips this week regarding posted pictures, what to say or not say and more.