The last guy I dated was a lethal lover. In hind sight, I can see so many red flags, but I explained them all away. I made up more excuses for him than he did. The truth is, I loved loving him and I wanted the feelings to last. He seemed to be everything I had always wanted, but the reality was, he had romance down to a science. He knew the right things to say and do to capture my heart. I saw the signs and I convinced myself they were just a product of my suspicious nature resulting from my past experiences. I didn’t want to bring my “toxic baggage” into my new relationship, so I ignored every warning my intuition clearly saw.
Why do we do that? You see the red flags, but you move forward anyway. Maybe it’s because the vision beyond the flags is so damn inviting! I’ve been reading your emails and I see it happening over and over. I’ve even used some of the same excuses: I had suspicions, but I just loved him so much … I wish I had known who she really was … I felt like, over time, he would work through his issues. The list goes on and on.
The red flags are a warning people! It doesn’t mean you have to be suspicious of every little thing, but when something slaps you in the face, you’ve got to wake up! Kenny Rogers once said, “Never be afraid to give up the good to go for the great!” My advice is this: Don’t be afraid to let go of a toxic relationship. Where there is smoke, there is fire, so follow your gut. The longer you stay with a jerk, the more it will hurt in the end … and make no mistake, it WILL ultimately end!
I am a recovering jerk-magnet. I still make mistakes, but I’ve have learned a lot from my past relationships. The next time I see red flags, I will trust myself before I trust him. Keep the emails and comments coming! We can help each other!
In part 2, I will share some email stories I have received, so stay tuned!