So, you meet someone over the internet and on paper, he/she seems like a perfect match for you. What do you do next, and how do you determine if this person is really what they said they were? In his final entry about internet dating, Richard gave us more wonderful insight:
Saying too much — Some people write the great American novel rather than have a real conversation – even when it’s clear both sides are interested. I understand about pre-screening and gathering information by baiting the hook while remaining cautious and safe — especially for a woman. There’s risk. You don’t know who’s out there; neither do I. Still, when you make first contact, you’re not applying for a job or filling out an in depth questionnaire. Most of us are busy. Aren’t you? So get to the point. If you’re looking for a pen pal or someone who will listen to an endless narrative, you might consider another venue — or going to therapy.
Not saying enough — If you have barely scratched the surface in your profile, don’t be surprised if you get few responses. Unless you’re looking for the superficial only, you have to give some insight into who you are.
If you give someone your number, use good judgement, and you might want to remember who they are when they call. Review the profile one more time, rather than answering the phone by saying, “Now which one were you again…?” (Yes, someone once asked me that.) We know you’re shopping, but that’s just tacky.
As to marital status, if you’re merely separated (which, I’ve come to find, can mean he/she is in the other room) and not legally divorced — if, regardless of your legal status, you’re still angry and bitter or if you believe the opposite sex is the problem … or the answer, for that matter … please think twice before you sign up to the site in the first place. Sign your divorce papers and handle your business first. If there are unresolved emotions that trigger easily, take the time and the effort to heal them. Or at least, give it a good start. Just don’t inflict yourself on the world until you resolve your issues. We’re not the problem, nor are we the answer. (Like I said at the beginning of this article, all of this applies to us guys as well. We shouldn’t be railing against our ex-wives or searching for our mother.)
Thanks, for all of your help Richard! And thanks to you, my loyal blog readers, for letting me know what you want to read about in my blog. I hope theses entries have shed some light on the do’s an don’ts of internet dating. Keep the comments and emails coming and if you have a great idea like Richard, maybe you will see your story posted on my blog too.