Do you know how to make your own fireworks?

July 4th is almost here and this year I am making my own fireworks! It’s time to celebrate my independence and walk away from toxic relationships forever! It’s great to get emails from women and men who tell me about their relationship train wrecks … and a little scary that I can identify with so many of them! I know first hand it can be really traumatic when you are on the receiving end of a “player”, but I’m continually amazed at the things we put up with all in the name of love. The red flags are usually there, and friends try to warn us, but he (or she) spun a web and we got caught up in it.

The thing is, love is just not supposed to be that hard. Why do we struggle and try to hold on to something we really never had in the first place? It may sound old fashion, but if someone truly loves you, they cherish you! You are the major priority in their life … end of story!

It’s not until you can look back at your past relationships and find some humor in how you ever could have believed some of things he/she pulled on you, that you have truly healed. So when you finally get over your train-wreck relationship, learn from your mistakes … or at least from mine!  You need to change your pattern of selection. To find the love of your life, you may not need to kiss a lot of toads!

Good men and women are out there! The hard part is finding them, right? Well maybe … but I think the trouble is we look at the wrong attributes. Lets face it, Prince Charming isn’t going to show up at the local pub some day to sweep you off your feet, and if you are searching for her on an internet dating site, remember … If she sounds too good to be true … she is!!  Players are pros at creating the perfect image.

The truth is, we sometimes overlook the good ones … the girl who is your best friend, always there when you need her, or the the “big brother” you call when your love-life takes a nose dive. Don’t ever settle, but don’t be deceived by hollow romance or fading beauty. Look for someone who makes you laugh and if the chemistry is there … you can make your own fireworks … and you just might find the love of your life!

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Casi