I am not a perfect friend. With the best intentions, I still forget birthdays, lag with email returns, fall short on connecting through social media. I’m not a coddler or a social butterfly, but I’m there in a heartbeat when a friend needs me. Call at 3:00 in the morning, two states away and I’ll drive to help without a second thought. I’m reliable, forgiving, trustworthy and will always have my friends’ backs. Like the characters in my writing I have unique strengths paired with human flaws and am a constant work in progress.
Perfection dwells in the imagination––thank God. How daunting, arduous life would be if we had to endure perfection in a friend or mate. So why do we pass judgement so easily? Is it our own insecurities that trigger fragile defense mechanisms deep within our souls? Are we really born with dominate personality traits––alpha, beta and omega––that blossom or wither in the trail of dust that cultivates our frame of reference . . . then becomes our lives? Traits or actions that are acceptable, even attractive to some, pour salt in the wounds of others.
Some say that speakers and writers espouse wisdom on the very topic they need most. I conceive my characters the same way, drawing on flaws and strengths I’ve seen in myself and others. I feel blessed that writing gives me a unique insight into both, making me a better friend and more loving partner. The past is filled with fragmented memories, obscure decisions and broken relationships. Past patterns may be an insight into future behavior, but should it be a life sentence? As different as we are, we have common threads that bind us together. There is no magical algorithm like Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon devised. We all evolve, like characters in our favorite books.