I’ve spent a lot of time over the past several years looking at relationships and I discovered a major reason that a lot of them fail — Sometimes we are just clueless. How many times have you met someone and thought,”Wow, this could really be something” only to have it fizzle out after a few months, or worse, continue and end up in disaster? There are a few things everyone should consider when looking for the right match.
If you’ve been dating for a few months, its fairly easy to determine if he/she sees you in their future by how you are included in their lives. If they introduce you to their family and friends, you have a foot in the door, but when they come up with reasons to spend time away from you, get a clue. While there is nothing wrong with a ladies/men’s night out, if your partner seems to come up with a lot of events with family or friends that exclude you, you are a temporary!
If you manage to make it to and event and they introduce you as their “friend”, you can bet that is exactly what you are. Its easy to rationalize and make excuses, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we all get that uncomfortable feeling inside. We know — but we rationalize because we really like them and we can see a long term relationship. These are the signs people, the red flags and if you ignore your gut instincts, you set yourself up for disaster.
When you meet someone and go from 0 to 60 the first date, your have a lot of chemistry and probably connections on other levels as well. Its worth peeling back the layers to discover what is beneath the surface, but don’t dive in head first. Take time to know them and listen to your gut as well as your heart rate. If they are the right match for you they won’t mind the slow down and if they aren’t, the red flags will start waving. If you get that gut feeling — that uhhh feeling (I’m not sure how to spell it but you know what I mean) pay attention! Make decisions then, not 8 months or a year down the road when you have a lot more invested in the relationship, and a lot more to lose. They may be hot, but the right one is out there, so don’t waste your time moving down a path to nowhere. It’s a pattern that leads to disaster!