[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6K2by9tBXEc&feature=related[/youtube]What happens to the dreams we have as children—to the wide eyed innocence and the belief that fairy tales can come true? It’s sad to see young adults jaded about their future, especially when they’ve barley even reached the legal age to have one. Sara, my son’s young friend, approached me a few days ago, excited to tell me how much my blog resonated in her life. She said that she had dated a lot of jerks, but no matter how much she did for them, they ended up hurting her. Her comment hit a chord with me, so I dug a little deeper to try to understand why.
Sara wrapped her life around the men she dated and in the process, she lost more and more of herself. She was afraid to believe in her own abilities and gave up on her dreams—the very essence that made her feel alive. Focused on themselves, the men she dated were quick to point out her flaws, which validated her insecurity even more.
Too many women—probably men as well, have had life experiences that generated in them, a strong sense of insecurity and self-dout. Loss and pain can cause an emptiness inside of us that leaves us feeling we have to be dependent upon other people to fill the void. It took me a long time to understand that emptiness can’t be filled by another person.
When you pin your future on someone else’s dreams, you lose your own significance and that only adds to the emptiness in your life. You can’t be afraid to try to make something of yourself. Sara didn’t realize that there is an amazing women inside of her, hiding beneath her fears—A woman with incredible ideas and talent just waiting to burst out and make her dreams come true. Instead, she relied on the self-absorbed men she dated to make her happy. The funny thing is, I think that if she believed in herself, she would actually attract the kind of men who would be less likely to hurt her.
It wasn’t until I began to follow my own dreams that I realized love was never meant to fill an emptiness inside, to replace something lost, or to be a safety net to rescue us from our own fears. When you believe in yourself, you let go of mediocrity. That’s when good things start happening in your life. I’m convinced that when you follow your dreams, everything else begins to fall in place.
Relationships thrive when two people have individual hopes and dreams as well as common ones. To me, love should be a mutual admiration society—a joint partnership where both individuals inspire each other as well as shine with their own unique significance.
Love is easy with the support and encouragement of someone who shares in your excitement as you discover your possibilities, instead of reminding you of your disabilities. So follow your dreams with the exuberance of a child. You may open doors to a wonderful future!