My heart goes out to innocent victims and I can identify with them. I was the poster child for stupidity when it came to relationships. I wasted years of my life trying to pull together my marriage, unaware my husband had another woman with whom he escaped the pressures of daily life. She had the intimacy, and carefree fun with my husband while my boys and I provided him with support and family life he wanted. He had the best of both worlds.
When I finally put it all together, the feeling of betrayal was devastating. Why couldn’t he have just been honest? I thought I wanted complete disclosure, but honesty is a double edged sword. Would you really want to know the honest truth if someone just didn’t feel the love they thought they would? Would it make you feel better for your partner to just say they had found and loved someone else? Would it help to know the innermost secrets of how they got involved with another love or the private details of their intimate moments?
Don’t get me wrong, its never okay to have an affair, or to look to someone else when your life isn’t perfect. Honesty is critical in a relationship, but the time to be honest starts in the beginning, not after an affair is in full swing. Along the way, things happen we can’t predict. When a relationship is built on honesty from day one, an affair won’t happen. The relationship would thrive or would end before another person entered the picture. If you’re truly in it together, then remember why you fell in love in the first place and fight to hold on, instead of bailing or cheating. Love takes a lot of work, but I’m convinced that if you make it through the rough spots, your relationship will be stronger and more intimate … it will thrive.
So be honest with the one person who will always be in your corner — yourself.
Casi