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I got this picture from Daily HaHa and I totally identify with her. For years I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. I continually found myself at the bottom, struggling to look up. When I looked at myself, I saw an educated, thoughtful, honest, warm, loving, giving woman … God, I sounded like a girl scout. Perfect, I was a middle-aged girl scout! No … I just had to face the facts; I was a €œjerk-magnet € ! So how do you change that? You have to learn to avoid being attracted to and by Jerks.

For me, the first step was to identify who the jerks were. I determined that jerks are self-satisfying players. They can’t commit to a “real relationship” and their ultimate goal is always self-serving. They are usually hot, romantic and good at what they do because they get plenty of practice. Their “relationship”  is only a priority when it benefits them. Sometimes they don’t even realize who they are, but if you work at it, you can become pretty good at identifying them. Remember, they aren’t gender specific so I’m talking to guys and girls alike!

Why are you attracted to them? Well, if you’re like me, you are a perfect mark. I’m kind-hearted, forgiving and a real sucker for romance. Maybe it originated from all the fairy tales I heard as a child or from trauma in my past, but what ever the reason, I have always been attracted to jerks. Cognitively I got it, but emotionally I fell for them over and over again. Lets face it, love is blind and when you’re feeling all the right things, it’s hard to see how skewed the relationship may be.

I think everyone dates a jerk from time to time, but some people, like me, continually find themselves repeating the pattern. Rick sent me an e-mail. He said he couldn’t understand why, after dating Melinda for 8 months, he had never met any of her friends or family. RED FLAG, Rick. If you are a priority in her life, she will want her friends to know you! We all can sense when something isn’t right, so trust your instincts.

What do you think? Are you really a jerk-magnet? Or maybe you are the jerk. You can find a mutually loving relationship, but first you have to figure out what part you are playing in your relationships.

Casi

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