[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwn1ninmmgg[/youtube]Trust is truly the elusive butterfly of love. When we’ve been hurt, its hard to get back up and try again. Trusting someone, or even trusting our own heart leaves us too vulnerable, so we rationalize, make up excuses and lie to ourselves because the truth hurts. Innocently, we guard our hearts from more pain, but in doing so, we go into a protective mode that creates habits or patterns that keep us from obtaining the very thing we desire.

Fear is a strong adversary. If we are afraid to trust, we abandon the very foundation that a relationship needs to thrive. Whether it is friendship, family or partners, any relationship forged without trust will crumble and fall. That’s why it is so hard to rebuild bonds after betrayal.

But … if we are too afraid of making a mistake again, the fear paralyzes us. Building walls to keep everyone out imprisons our heart and fear of commitment keeps us in bondage. Commitment phobia sets us up to be hurt over and over again. We subconsciously sabotage our happiness. No one can have one foot in a relationship while the other one is still out looking for guarantees or holding out for better options. That scenario never works. Why? Because if we continue to look we will surely find. We may not find something better, but we will find a distraction and a distraction keeps us from being able to commit or build a real and honest relationship. Looking generates outside feelings into the equation, be they emotional or just chemical, and those feelings lead to betrayal so the cycle continues.

If we find someone we are attracted to and question if they are “the one” then we owe it to ourselves to swallow our fears and focus on that individual. Yes, we have to trust and stop looking for excuses and distractions. And — There’s no denying trust makes us vulnerable. We might be wrong and get burned again, but if we don’t take a leap of faith and trust our own hearts, we will loose out on the greatest gift life has to offer — real love. How much more grievous would a loveless life be?

Betrayal hurts, but when we lock up our hearts we empower the perpetrator to control and stifle our lives. The one thing we CAN trust is that if we DON’T trust we will never truly love. So when someone touches our heart, we should go for the gold — Hold on tight and enjoy the ride. The greatest gift could be just a heartbeat away!

Casi