[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU5Nm4ctMIU[/youtube]With a smorgasbord of over 93 million single adults in America alone, one would think it would be easy to find their soul mate, but how do you know when you’ve found the right one? While there are no guarantees, there are certain fundamental elements essential to that special relationship and if you want to have a connection that will last, you need to know the crucial criteria key to that lasting bond.
Too many people dive into romantic relationships based on physical attraction and though chemistry is quintessential, a lasting connection can rarely survive on desire alone. When the dust settles, the relationship generally hits continual obstacles. If you’re waiting till some future event for things to work out, you are probably with the wrong person. A genuine connection just is and no future event is necessary to make things work.
When you truly find the right one, every day details of his or her life can fascinate you. You never bore of listening to his stories or hearing about her hopes and dreams. If you’re with the right one, you just can’t help but smile. Life is good and you might even feel like a teenager at times, swept away by youthful hormonal bliss.
If you’re with the right one, you don’t have to impress them you already have. They respect you and admire who you are and where you’ve been, whether you’re a stay at home mom or a fashion model, a struggling actor or a CEO. The right one loves you for who you are, so you never have to bend over backwards trying to get their attention. Mutual respect is critical in a lasting relationship.
If there’s always a lot of drama in your relationship, chances are you’re with the wrong mate. Of course no relationship is without occasional disagreements, but constant conflict is a sure sign of trouble and should be a huge warning signal. So, when your friends or family comment that you just don’t seem happy, a red flag should wave in your face.
Compatibility is key. You don’t have to have the same career goals, but background, core values and beliefs help and priorities that match up can make a big difference. If one of you is driven and the other isn’t; one likes fast food and the other eats an organic diet, or one lives in the moment while the other plans for the future, you can bet that the relationship will be fraught with obstacles. You can compliment and balance each other with opposite traits, but your goals, ideals and down time need to be in line.
When you have a deep connection, you make it your business to know what makes your mate happy and you appreciate the small things they do for you. The right one can defuse a stressful day, will encourage you to pursue your dreams and find ways to be the calm in your storm.
If the one you’re dating doesn’t fit the basic criteria, you might want to rethink the path you are taking. Don’t waste your time settling for an okay relationship. Real love isn’t hard! It’s comfortable and it just flows. The right one is out there and can come when you least expect it, but you won’t be available if you are too busy trying to fix a dead end relationship.
Casi
I always love your comments Stevie!!! Thanks for following my blog!!
Casi
Well, well, well this is always a good debate.
“How do you know?”
With all my long relationships, I knew pretty quick. Now I guess if i was playing devils advocate I would say “how’s that working?” since they all eventually ended with us breaking up.
I think you hit the nail on the head saying not to settle for a dead end relationship. Most of us would rather have somebody bad than be with nobody and that usually prevents us from finding the somebody that is good for us.
I think a lot of it starts with having a strong sense of self and truly being ok with being ok if that’s the plan God has for you. Of course that is easier said than done.
I so wish this was easier and there was a scantron test we could take at the beginning and not waste all the time on banging our heads into the wall.
SK