[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krgCwQbNO9k&feature=related[/youtube]Spring seems to make everything come alive. Something in the air inspires us to clear the clutter from our lives and focus on the future. I’ve been been doing a lot of house cleaning in my own life lately and in the mean time, my email has backed up, so today I wanted to reply to some of them and touch on some issues that really hit home for me.
As a writer, it has always been easier for me to put things down on paper than to blurt them out. I can see things more clearly in black and white … I hope some of my thoughts can help my friends see things a little differently too. Shelly, among others, wrote me about dating, and getting over her past, so here is the first of my 2 part viewpoint … lets just say my 2 cents worth.
The first cent:
We all have baggage, and as hard as we try, we can’t just make our past disappear. You obviously have lived through a lot, and so have I! If we can learn and grow from past pain, then chances are, our present and future will benefit, but if we dwell on the past it can spiral out of control and really mess things up. I know, because that happened in my life, so now, I try to think before I jump into decisions. I guess the danger in that is in over analyzing, but I just don’t want to go down a path that is destined to end with me being hurt again, so I take a moment and think about where I’m headed before I move forward.
You asked me if I regretted a two year relationship I had because it didn’t work … the answer is no. Yes, I was hurt in the end, but the incredible time we spent together was filled with so much laughter, fun, passion, spontaneity and good times … it was amazing. How could regret that? He didn’t set out to hurt me and honestly, he taught me a lot about love. We are still friends and I don’t regret it at all. The hard part is moving forward afterward.
I’ve done a lot of work on my own “baggage” and I have learned that when we meet someone, we have to have realistic expectations. We can’t go out on dates interviewing for a future husband or wife or analyze each person to see if they have all the qualifications were are looking for. If we wonder if “he/she is the one” we set ourselves up for failure. False expectations, projecting or thinking things like could he “make me happy” or will she “fulfill me” is too much pressure to ask of any one person or potential relationship. The truth is you have to fulfill yourself and be happy inside before you can give anything to anyone else.
So how do we proceed? Check out my blog next week and find out my spin on things. In the mean time, enjoy this short video and imagine … What if …